Poison Control

I've taken the food-handlers test. Twice. And passed it both times. But for some reason I am unable to safely prepare food for my family. I could blame it on baby brain, or on lack of sleep, but really it was pure negligence. I poisoned myself. And Brian.

Monday was such a good day! I made myself this "family notebook" to organize myself and keep track of doing chores and menus and things. I was so excited about it. And Sadie's been so good too, that I'm finally finding time (and energy) to clean things that I haven't cleaned for months (like the floors. side note: I was going to mop today until I realized the mop is outside still from the last time we mopped, and it hasn't been washed, and it's full of cob webs and growing mold. I'm such a bad housekeeper!). We went to therapy Monday morning and there was NO CAR SCREAMING both ways. Man, it was a good day!!

The night before I had taken some chicken out of the freezer to thaw for dinner, but the problem was that I forgot to actually PUT it in the refrigerator. It only made it so far as the counter. And there it sat all night. You see where this is going?

Immediately after dinner I felt sick. And I just thought it was because what I made was greasier than we normally eat (ew. just thinking about it is making me nauseated all over again), but then it never went away. And I fell asleep with Sadie on the couch and dragged her and myself to bed around 9:00. That's when it started. I can't really say I puked all night, because this was really the only time I had anything to puke up. But with each time it just got more and more horrible.

Then about my third time getting up at night, Brian got up too. It had to be the chicken.

The next day I could barely drag myself out of bed, but my body ached so badly that I couldn't lay there any longer either. I tried to shower and take Sadie to therapy, but I ended up taking my shower sitting down because I was too weak to stand up. I had to cancel everything. And I felt like such a bad mother because Sadie just laid on the floor all day. It was all I could do to change her diaper (which didn't happen often enough, I'll admit), and feed her (which I am amazed that my body could handle). We slept on and off all day long, me, Brian, and Sadie.

It was horrible.

I can't wait to tell you more about Sadie's new therapy though! She is doing so well! She's sleeping (independently), opening and using her hands, she's loose in the hips and shoulders, she doesn't cry all day long, and she smiles a lot more!! Stay tuned for pictures too!!

Nicknames

Most kids have a nickname given to them by their parents. Some call their little men "Bubba." Some call their daughters "Baby Girl." I had a friend in middle school whose parents called her "Woo." She hated it. My mom calls me "Honey Bun" and my brother is "Sugar Bear"...and these are interchangeable as needed.

We think Sadie needs a nickname and we need your help deciding what to call her when Sadie or Sades just isn't enough.

Names we've experimented with:
Little Sucker
Doodlebug
Sadie-pop
Screamy
Sadie-bug
Sadie-kins

Her grammy calls her Poppet (this sorta reminds me though of that creepy pirate in Pirates of the Carribean, the first one, at the beginning when they kidnap the girl)

I like Little Britches

Her grandpa calls her Kickstart (because she's always kicking just one leg! ha!)

What should we call Sadie?

• 
  Doodlebug


• 
  Sadie-pop


• 
  Kickstart


• 
  Little Britches


• 
  Poppet


• 
  Sadie-kins

view results
Free vote poll

Crunchy Mama?

I found this definition of a Crunchy Mama: Mother who supports homebirth, breastfeeding, baby wearing, cloth diapering, co-sleeping, gentle discipline, etc. One who questions established medical authority; tends to be vegetarian and/or prepare all-organic foods. I guess that's me! ...except we're not really vegetarian or all organic, but we're working on it!

Check out this other crunchy mama
http://www.crunchybeachmama.com/

For Tory: breadmaking

I used to always make bread in the bread machine. It's easy and you can be pretty creative by adding flax and cracked wheat and things. But I never was really happy with the shape of a bread machine loaf. They're tall and boxy, which makes for some REALLY big sandwiches. Plus, we're not very good at cutting nice THIN bread slices, so a bread machine loaf was good for 6 or 8 pieces. Then we got the grain mill and started making our own wheat flour. It seemed that it wasn't going to work in the bread machine, the first 4 loaves we made were bricks. What were we doing wrong? So, I started experimenting, looking for answers on the internet, and trying different things. Here is what I've come up with that seems to work pretty well.

Mind you, I've adapted this to work for ME and my equipment. I grind my own wheat, and I use the bread machine to knead (because kneading SUUUUUUCKS), but it's possible to do it without these things, you might just have to experiment a little.

Here's my recipe. And I kind of took a little from here and a little from there, and added and took away as I went and made sure to write it down. Bread is pretty easy though, flour, water, sugar and salt, and yeast are all you really need. This recipe uses honey (which I actually prefer when it comes to flavor) and a little oil.

3 cups of lukewarm water
7 cups of whole wheat flour
1 Tbs yeast
1 Tbs salt
1/3 cup Olive Oil
1/3 cup honey
3 Tbs vital wheat gluten

The first thing you want to do is mix everything together. Start with the dry ingredients, then add the honey and olive oil.
Finally add the water. It's important that the water not be too hot or too cold. It's important that it be about 100 degrees to activate the yeast and not kill it. (100 degrees is about the temp of a hot tub) I'm sort of crazy about this.


Then stir it all up until you get a dough ball.

Knead this dough ball for 8-10 minutes. If you don't have a bread machine to put it in, it's important that you knead correctly. (there is a right way and a wrong way to knead bread and it's important to do it the right way or the gluten won't work with the yeast to make the bread rise...who knew, right?) Here's a video explaining how to knead by hand.



Once you've kneaded it, let it rise for about an hour. Again, there's a right way and a wrong way to do this. Since it's still pretty warm outside, I just cover my bowl and set it in the shade outside for an hour. You can also turn your oven on really low and leave the door open a little and set it in there. If your house isn't too cool, you can just set it out on the counter, but the cooler the environment the longer it'll take to rise, so this might take longer than an hour. The way to tell if it's done rising is that it should be double it's original size.


















Once your dough is done rising, re-knead it and let it rise for another hour.

Once your dough has risen a second time it's time to shape the loaves. There is also an art to doing this, you don't just lump them into the bread pan. Flatten out your dough so that it's a rectangle, the short side should be the same length as your bread pan. Then roll it up and place it in the bread pan (make sure your pan is well greased) with the tail of the roll on the bottom. It also helps this process if you put a little olive oil on the counter first. I use a glass cutting board.

















Now let it rise one. more. time. I know, it takes forever, that's why you want to make multiple loaves at a time. When your dough has doubled in size, it's ready to put in the oven. Bake for 30-35 minutes, until the internal temperature is 180-200
degrees.









I just use a cheap-o thermometer from the grocery store. But checking the temp is really the best way I've found to make sure your bread is done perfectly.

You'll want to immediately remove it from the baking pans so it doesn't get soggy, and let it sit on a cooling rack with a towel over it until it's cool. I usually let it sit out overnight, then in the morning I freeze one loaf and slice the other one. yum yum yum!!

I hate the grocery store

The grocery store used to be sort of fun. Aisles and aisles of food possibilities. How could that NOT be fun?

Then I got pregnant. And everything made me nauseous.

And then my baby was born sick. And life changed. And so did the grocery store.

I used to try to take Sadie with me to the grocery store, but the car screaming was too much to deal with, and then she wouldn't calm herself down when we got there. And she hates being in the ergo carrier. So, now grocery shopping is part of Sadie's weekend time with daddy, while mommy leaves by herself.

Now, when I go to the grocery store all I see are children. Everywhere I look are healthy, happy children. And families who have no idea how lucky they are to have those healthy, happy children. They grab things off the shelves, they ride in carts, they throw fits, they chase their siblings around the produce section. All while I try to hold my tears back.

Lately, I've also seen many pregnant women. Women who, like me, have no thought of bearing a disabled or sick child. Women who expect everything will go perfectly...like millions and millions of births every year.

It's hard for me to not cry. I can't help but still live in the world of what if. I look at those little babies and toddlers and think about how life SHOULD be for us. It still makes me sad.

And when these parents yell at their children for misbehaving, I smile. Because they have no idea how lucky they are that their children are ABLE to misbehave.

I wonder how many of the people who come to the grocery store are like me, they've left their special needs child at home because it's just too hard to bring him/her out in public. I think if I ever run into a parent at the grocery store with a special needs child in tow I might just run up and hug them!

And as I leave the grocery store, checking my receipt for my savings, I breathe a sigh of relief out in the parking lot. I'm thankful that it's over and I can go home to my reality. To my screaming child who needs me. And I don't have to wonder (as much) about what life would be like if Sadie were "normal."

Banana confidence

Our most recent trip to Oregon, the hippy-est place on earth, we went to a library story/sing/social time. A group of parents with children all of a certain age would take off their shoes, unpack their children from their various style of harnesses (not strollers save one bad hippy-mommy) and sit in a circle. Shortly little kids were up and introducing themselves to other kids and parents and bystanders. I thought this fascinating as these kids and their joyous wanderings caused parents to interact with one another in a communal setting allowing introductions to be made, and friendships kindled. It was different from the way adults normally act.

Once the starting time commenced, the parents returned their kids to the place in the circle and they sat excitedly. The group, led by a librarian (coolest job ever!) sat and sang silly songs together complete with actions. Singing aloud a nutty children song, to yourself, your child and for the group to hear, all while participating in silly action shenanigans takes a lot confidence.

Christie was so impressed with this that she attended a similar library time in Phoenix. This group, apparently, was lame and uninteresting. They weren't willing to sing aloud, weren't willing to let their kids wander and explore, and weren't willing to interact with others who had a similar circumstance: their aged children.

This Friday I attended a similar event at the Foundation for Blind Children. The parents sang aloud. The parents whooshed and giggled and bounced their kids. The children, in various states, loved it. I don't believe there was a child there who did not enjoy the time together with their parents (and grandparents and some other people of some sort of relation) as they sang, danced and enjoyed the time together.

The art, or perhaps better summarized: the bumbling effort - of raising children is best served with confidence. Might we consider that having a child and being forced to deal with that child in all his or her humanness, fallibility, finiteness and love causes a parent to understand their true role.

ABM: a renewed hope

ABM is a new therapy we heard about from a lady at the Foundation for Blind Children (actually the mom of the little girl I wrote about yesterday). It stands for Anat Baniel Method (that is a picture of Anat Baniel to the left). I'm gonna post a bunch of videos, and I'm just warning you 1. they're long, and 2. you might need tissue (for happy tears of joy).

ABM is not just for special needs children, anybody can experience results through this kind of movement therapy. However, for our purposes we will focus on using it to help children...especially children with CP. ABM is based on the idea that simple pressure on the spine stimulates the nervous system allowing the brain to create new neural pathways. By increasing the child's awareness of his/her body, the idea is that the child becomes more mobile. It can also improve vision (if it's brain-related like Sadie's) and speech. Results from this approach to movement in children with delays/disabilities is dramatic and almost immediate.

ABM is learning-based, not medical-based, and because of what we know about the brain's plasticity and ability to recover and heal, the earlier one can start ABM, the better chance for full recovery of ability and normal development. This means that if we start Sadie now, she could very possibly be walking ON TIME. The reason I can say this with some confidence is that I've watched SO MANY of these videos and they are amazing.

But before you watch the videos, I want to share with you what Anat Baniel calls the 9 essentials that the brain requires in order to grow and develop new patterns and possibilities.

1. Movement with Attention: without movement we cannot feel alive, and movement with attention allows the brain to create new patterns so that a child can learn. Paying attention to your movements is powerful, even for adults. Think about if you've ever done yoga or Tai Chi, you are moving your body slowly and deliberately and it not only benfits you physically, but it's good for your brain.

2. Learning Switch: You want your learning switch to be on so that everything that you experience can be a learning experience for your brain to use and to help it grow. Turning on your learning switch allows you to become a real-life problem solver. In order to turn on this learning switch, it's important to step into each situation consciously expecting to learn something new.

3. Subtlety: Our job as we go through life is to become more and more refined and to be able to be more subtle with our movement and our skills. Creating more subtle pathways and connections in the brain allows us to be more complex with our skills. We want to help our brains grow subtlely and not with force so that we can get the most bang for our buck, so to speak.

4. Variation: Changing things just a little or finding new ways to do something causes the brain to flourish and spring to life. Make intentional mistakes when practicing, then go back and redo whatever it is correctly and you may find that your brain has really expanded and improved.

5. Slow: Slowing down helps us to feel and sense more of what's going on around us. This makes our lives richer. Doing everything on "auto-pilot" can cause us to forget that life is to be enjoyed, but slowing down and tuning into all our senses enriches our lives and allows us to really feel alive.

6. Enthusiasm: Enthusiasm is a skill, something you can learn to do intentionally, instead of it just being a reaction to an outside stimulus. Anything you bring enthusiasm to will grow and expand and improve. When you are enthusiastic about something someone has done, you may find that they will do it more. When you are internally enthusiastic you effect the environment around you, creating more energy and a more positive environment to be in. Make the small into great by being enthusiastic.

7. Flexible Goals: When you are flexible about your goals, you are able to be flexible about the opportunities you have to reach those goals. Being rigid about your goal and how to reach it actually lessens your chances of ever achieving it. The moment we make a new goal, we don't know how we're going to get there or if we ever will, we aren't even sure what it will look like when/if we do reach our goal. Heading roughly toward something at first, then narrowing your focus toward your goal the closer you get to it will help you be more successful.

8. Imagination and Dreams: Imagination is just as good as the real thing. Using your brain to imagine yourself doing something actually creates new patterns rather than just doing the same thing over and over and traveling along the same lines that were already there. Dreams are big ideas we form from within about our future or the future of our children. Dreams give us a direction for our lives.

9. Awareness: For humans to grow and thrive it's important for us to be aware and to continually be challenging ourselves to do things at higher and higher levels. Becoming more and more aware of ourselves and our environment is something we can develop regardless of our age or stature. Without awareness there can be no knowledge. Becoming aware makes one accurate, deliberate, and wise about other people and about oneself.

Now, check these out

Anat Baniel's video showing several children with CP (it's in 2 parts)
Part 1
Part 2

Isaac, who had meningitis as a baby and it caused hydrocephalus (water in the brain)
Isaac's video

Here's a 6 month old with some paralysis of the left side of her body
Hannah's video

This is Michelle, she is here in Phoenix (so cool that she has amazing videos on here!)
Anthony's video

Rolling over with Liam
Liam's video

This one might make you cry, I've watched it 3 times and cried everytime!
Cole's video

This is Aliyah, the little girl I told you about yesterday who fell in love with Brian
Aliyah's video

If you actually took the time and watched ALL these videos, you might also be convinced. Needless to say, I'm calling Monday.