Friday, May 28, 2010

what "they" don't tell you about having a baby

Recently I've had more friends who've had babies, one a few weeks ago, one today, another one is due in about a month, and this conversation has come up a couple of times with them. What "they" don't tell you about having a baby. Everybody says it'll hurt like hell...especially if you tell them you're going natural and having a homebirth. And it does...hurt like hell. And they tell you you'll be sleep deprived, or that they grow up so fast, or that your body will never be the same. But what do they NOT tell you?

1. All your hair will fall out. When I got pregnant everybody asked me if I was loving my thick, healthy hair. But mine didn't get thick right away. Apparently, pregnancy hormones are supposed to cause your hair not to fall out like it usually does, so you don't get those hairballs in the shower and stuff. Mine didn't do this right away, so I didn't really know what people were talking about. But, when it did, it was awesome. But I didn't really understand that after I have the baby, it'll all fall out. And I mean crazy amounts of hair coming out! And now I'm back to removing my hair ball when I'm done showering everyday.

2. Things are sore "down there" that you didn't even know existed, let alone could be sore...for weeks. Sure, it'll hurt when you're having a baby, but nobody told me that I wouldn't be able to sit comfortably for a week, or that my BONES would ache between my legs!! For like 6 weeks when I'd go for walks, or even around the grocery store, my pubic bones would just throb, it took a long time to go away. Even still, after 4 months, they're not quite the same.

3. You'll probably wear a diaper for a week or so. Yes you, I'm not talking about your baby. At my shower a friend gave me some adult dipes (I know, nice gift, huh? But I was really thankful for them later!), and I had no idea why...then I had a baby. Apparently your body just purges and purges until it gets rid of's gross.

4. Sex hurts...a lot. I don't know if people don't tell you this just because they don't talk about sex, or because they don't want you to know because then you'll never have a baby and get to experience all the cuddly joy that babies bring. But it's definitely not the same, and I'm starting to worry that it never will be.

5. That baby is REALLY small. I got all these precious little newborn clothes in doll sizes and I thought, "Sadie will never fit in these if she's gonna be that big 8 lb baby that is predicted!" But when we finally got to bring her home she weighed 8.5 lbs and most of those clothes were baggy on her! I was shocked at how little she actually was. On a side note, when we've received 9 mos+ clothes we thought, "our little baby's gonna be THAT big?! Impossible." But here she is in 6-9 mos clothes and now it seems not that far off!! Weird how fast they grow...

And that's all I can think of for tonight. But, I'm curious what your big surprises were when you had your first baby. What was it you experienced that "they" didn't tell you about?


  1. No one told me that pushing out a big baby could result in damage to my urinary tract muscles and leaving me without the ability to urinate for 2 days after birth. Hello, catheter...

  2. Definitely the pain afterwards. I couldn't get out of bed on my own for a few days, I couldn't sit in a chair for like 3 weeks, I couldn't walk (or stand up) for more than 3 minutes without being in imense pain. My chest and throat muscles hurt so much for the first couple days that I thought my lungs were going to collapse. My baby would cry and I would cry too because there are all these new hormones pulsing through me. Oh, and bleeding for two months straight. I would totally do it again though. Pain is only temporary, but I will always love my sweet baby girl.