Nothing is ever guaranteed in life

Today I got a phone call from our Bradley Birthing teacher. She told me that a couple we knew from classes lost their baby. This couple was taking the class as we were nearing the end and were coming back for review. We liked them immediately because we had a lot in common, mostly because they were also having a homebirth. Then we reconnected after our babies were born when we both came back to tell our birth stories. She had had a fast and a little bit scary birth, but she had a beautiful little girl named Savannah. Soon after Savannah was born, they moved to Texas. He was military and was being transferred, so off they went, all their belongings and their 6 week old baby.

I was shocked to hear the news this morning. They don't know what happened, so they're calling it SIDS. She stopped breathing in her crib, and when she was found it was too late. I guess CPR was performed and paramedics were called, but it was all too late. Wow. That poor sweet family, how my heart goes out to them right now.

It really brought me back to the day we were ready to say goodbye to Sadie. That was hard, and we cried, but she was 5 days old and we hadn't really bonded with her the way these parents had after knowing Savannah for 7 months. I can't even imagine what they are feeling right now. My heart hurts for them.

But it got me thinking about death.

Not too long ao, I got to talk to another special needs mom who comes to The Foundation for Blind Children on Friday mornings. She never stays for the parent meeting, so I don't get many chances to talk to her, but her baby looks a lot like Sadie, so one day I started asking questions. I learned that this is her second baby, her first had the same special needs. The doctors don't know what it is, but they're pretty sure it's genetic. I asked about her son, she said he died last April. And I started wondering what it must feel like to have a baby and be faced daily with the reality that she may not make it any longer than her brother, who was 5 years old. Would that wrench my heart to bury both my children? She is amazingly strong, I think that reality might send me over the edge to the loony bin.

Both of these stories got me thinking about our own situation. We are so lucky that we didn't have to say goodbye to our baby. She is so cute and, for as much grief she causes, she provides us with even more joy. But it never crossed my mind until hearing these 2 stories that we could lose Sadie someday. Is that weird to think about? I mean, nothing is guaranteed in life, and really any of us could lose a child, so why does this bother me so much?

I guess it's because there is still so much we don't know about Sadie. She'll be 10 months old tomorrow and I feel like I still have as many questions as I did when she was 10 days. All I can do is enjoy every minute, every day that I get to see her little smile and squeeze her chubby little thighs, because we don't know the future. But if the future does hold the unthinkable, I want to be able to look back and remember Sadie with a smile, knowing I loved her with all my heart and gave her everything I've got.

So, please pray for baby Savannah's family. They will be coming back to AZ to hold a memorial service with friends and family. We hope to attend. I wish there was more we could do.

Serkan's last dance (a photo essay)

This school year I worked with some awesome people, one of them is named Serkan Suel. He's originally from Turkey, moved to New York State, got married, came to Flagstaff for a while, got his teaching degree, then got a job teaching science here in Phoenix, while his wife stayed in New York and worked on her own career. Serkan is such a great guy, and, during the school year Brian and I got to know him better...it helps that he lives within walking distance of our house too! And once I left on maternity leave, Serkan started coming over with a bunch of food and making us dinner. We have enjoyed our dinner parties with Serkan, but now that school's out, he's moving back to be with his wife (which is where he should be!), so this is our last "hurrah" with him. And this time, WE made HIM dinner. Enjoy seeing how our night unfolded...

On the menu: Homemade Pesto Chicken & Margherita Pizza from scratch
Fresh-picked Zucchini
Red Wine (for them, not me)
Fresh Strawberries with Neopolitan ice cream

First I had to make the pizza dough. We've done some experimenting with this bread machine recipe (which requires beer) and found that the cheapest, lightest beer works the best. I chose "Icehouse" for our pizza tonight

In the bread machine ready to go...

One hour and 45 minutes later, and we get...

a beautiful ball of dough. I love this bread machine!! Then I repeated to make another for the other pizza!

Finally! Both doughs done, time to make them pizza shaped. I'm not a pro at this like the guy on the Visa commercial (come on, you've all seen it...hey mambo!), but I'm not bad either!
Two pizzas ready to be dressed! Don't they look yummy?
Time to make the pesto!! Yes, we make our own pesto, no store bought stuff for us!!

First we pick the basil from the back yard...it's so fragrant out there! (making the pesto is Brian's job!)

Then toast and cut up the garlic to accompany the basil.

Put the basil, garlic, pine nuts and oil all in the food processor and grind it up (we like to use the little one when making small quantities!)

Spread the pesto on the pizza...

Sprinkle the chicken on the pizza...

And of course add the cheese!

Soon we were ready to stick them in the oven! Don't they look yummy?

Steam some zucchini freshly picked from the garden...

And Voila!! A meal fit for a king! ...well, at least fit for Turk!

I think Serkan enjoyed it!

Everybody sure cleaned their plates!

We hung out for a while when we were done, the boys drank more wine, I fed Sadie (which is why I don't have any pictures of dessert), we said our goodbyes, and went off to bed. We're sure gonna miss Serkan and his dinner parties. Too bad McKenzie couldn't move here instead so she could join us!