Thursday, November 18, 2010

Nothing is ever guaranteed in life

Today I got a phone call from our Bradley Birthing teacher. She told me that a couple we knew from classes lost their baby. This couple was taking the class as we were nearing the end and were coming back for review. We liked them immediately because we had a lot in common, mostly because they were also having a homebirth. Then we reconnected after our babies were born when we both came back to tell our birth stories. She had had a fast and a little bit scary birth, but she had a beautiful little girl named Savannah. Soon after Savannah was born, they moved to Texas. He was military and was being transferred, so off they went, all their belongings and their 6 week old baby.

I was shocked to hear the news this morning. They don't know what happened, so they're calling it SIDS. She stopped breathing in her crib, and when she was found it was too late. I guess CPR was performed and paramedics were called, but it was all too late. Wow. That poor sweet family, how my heart goes out to them right now.

It really brought me back to the day we were ready to say goodbye to Sadie. That was hard, and we cried, but she was 5 days old and we hadn't really bonded with her the way these parents had after knowing Savannah for 7 months. I can't even imagine what they are feeling right now. My heart hurts for them.

But it got me thinking about death.

Not too long ao, I got to talk to another special needs mom who comes to The Foundation for Blind Children on Friday mornings. She never stays for the parent meeting, so I don't get many chances to talk to her, but her baby looks a lot like Sadie, so one day I started asking questions. I learned that this is her second baby, her first had the same special needs. The doctors don't know what it is, but they're pretty sure it's genetic. I asked about her son, she said he died last April. And I started wondering what it must feel like to have a baby and be faced daily with the reality that she may not make it any longer than her brother, who was 5 years old. Would that wrench my heart to bury both my children? She is amazingly strong, I think that reality might send me over the edge to the loony bin.

Both of these stories got me thinking about our own situation. We are so lucky that we didn't have to say goodbye to our baby. She is so cute and, for as much grief she causes, she provides us with even more joy. But it never crossed my mind until hearing these 2 stories that we could lose Sadie someday. Is that weird to think about? I mean, nothing is guaranteed in life, and really any of us could lose a child, so why does this bother me so much?

I guess it's because there is still so much we don't know about Sadie. She'll be 10 months old tomorrow and I feel like I still have as many questions as I did when she was 10 days. All I can do is enjoy every minute, every day that I get to see her little smile and squeeze her chubby little thighs, because we don't know the future. But if the future does hold the unthinkable, I want to be able to look back and remember Sadie with a smile, knowing I loved her with all my heart and gave her everything I've got.

So, please pray for baby Savannah's family. They will be coming back to AZ to hold a memorial service with friends and family. We hope to attend. I wish there was more we could do.

1 comment:

  1. Oh my goodness that is sad. Praying for all the families involved in this post. I'm sorry to hear about the loss of little Savannah. : ( Our son's chromosome condition was considered a "spontaneous event." For us, once we had a diagnosis, we checked out what we could (cardiac, kidney, etc) to rule out issues.

    Fortunately, microarray testing, developed just in the last few years, is catching some of the "smaller" chromosome changes, including hereditary ones. I know parents of teens, including multiple teens in some families with hereditary inheritance, who benefit from this specific testing.

    Good for you to be treasuring these special days!! My little boy is 2, and I'm wishing I could have frozen those days, as much as I tried to memorize them at the time. Get a flip camera and take a picture every day!