What if your blessings come through raindrops
What if your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know you're near
What if trials of this life are your mercies in disguise
The whole song talks about how we pray for all these great things: wisdom, God's mighty hand, goodness, for God to be near, for blessings...but when we experience pain we cry out for God to come take it from us. And when we suffer, we beg for God's mercies. But what if our hurt and disappointment are actually answers to the things we prayed for, they just look different than what we expected.
I don't think God wants us to suffer, but I think suffering is part of this world we live in. And I think suffering is necessary so that we can remember that we need God. So that we can remember how good God is even when everything around us sucks. And so that we can remember that God's promise is that someday all our suffering and heartache and pain will end.
I think it's important to recognize our suffering, but I don't think it's healthy to dwell on it. I know someone who has had a lot of horrible things happen to her (and she's not that old), but it seems like she's always talking about and dwelling on and remembering these hard times instead of rejoicing in all the blessings she has right in front of her on a daily basis; 2 beautiful children, a husband who loves her, etc.
That's why we call this blog "Beck Family BLESSINGS." Because even though Sadie is the worst thing that ever happened to us...she's also the best thing that ever happened to us. Instead of everyday thinking about and dwelling on that horrible night she was born and those nights of sobbing with Brian while Sadie slept in the NICU, I look at her and I see the cutest baby ever. I kiss her when she wakes up in the morning, and when she goes to bed at night...and, let's face it, all day in between! When I look at her I see a miracle, not a tragedy.
I guess that's why the song makes me cry. Because I get it. My blessings might come through all the generous people donating to help Sadie get an ipad. But my blessings also come through staying up until 4:00am with a teething baby who can't sleep because she hurts too badly. And my blessings might come in that cute smile that looks at me so happily every morning. But my blessings are really through knowing that that cute smile may not have ever happened. And my blessings are that Sadie can breath and doesn't have a feeding tube and is using her vision more and more daily. And the trials of this life, they really are God's mercies in disguise.