Thursday, April 7, 2011
Remembering the Blessings
Usually, when people ask me how I'm doing, I can muster up an "I'm okay" even if I'm VERY borderline okay. But Monday morning my mom asked me how my day was going and I flat out said, "bad." If Sadie doesn't get teeth soon we all might have to be committed to the crazy house for lack of sleep! This is SO HARD! Sunday night was the worst. She screamed and screamed and screamed until like 1:30 in the morning when we finally pulled out the "real" drugs and put her out of her misery. I don't know how other parents do it without the drugs (for the babies, I mean)...or maybe it's not this bad if your kid is normal? I don't know. All I know is that SHE (we) needed the sleep, and giving her the drugs was the only way she was going to get it. I had an appt at the gym Monday morning to workout with the trainer (which is where I was going when I was talking to my mom), and, like usual, when I am super tired, I get super emotional...so I cried practically the whole way there. WHAT A WUSS!!!! Those of you who think I'm superwoman might change your minds if you knew how often I break down and lose it! But I sucked it up and walked into that gym with my head held high and my eyes dry...and by the time I left I was laughing and smiling. As the week has gone on, it hasn't really gotten any better. Although, now I'm administering drugs BEFORE 1:30 (waaaaaay before), so that we all can have a little more peace at night. Not to mention what the neighbors must be thinking! Brian left town Wednesday morning and won't be back until Friday, so for three days and two nights I'm pretty much on my own. But one of these days those teeth are going to come through, and Sadie's going to look like such a big girl and she's going to learn to bite and eat crackers and things. And I'm so excited about that. The other day my neighbor came over to visit. She has an almost 3 year old and an almost 1 year old and she is having a really hard time with both of them. Her older girl beats up on the younger one, and the younger one screams and cries all day (she's a feisty one!), and my friend is feeling like I've felt so. many. times...crazy house, sign me up!! But as we got to talking, she said, "I really just need to remember my blessings. There are so many people who would be VERY GREATFUL to be living my life, and I need to remember that." And that's when I told her (and she KNOWS how hard it's been for me this last year) that when I meet new people or first tell people about Sadie, I always always always focus on the positive. I tell them she's alive, and that she learned how to nurse, and now she's eating solid foods! I tell them that she is so pretty and is doing so well sleeping in her own bed in her own room. I talk about how she's working so hard to sit up and wants so badly to use her hands to put things in her mouth. And that we're raising money to get her an ipad so she can hopefully start communicating with us! I never focus on that she screams all day and won't ride in the car, and pukes if we leave her on the floor for too long. And I do this because it reminds ME of how fortunate we are, how blessed we are, how lucky we are. So, maybe once in a while it's so bad that when my mom asks how my day is going I tell her the truth. But usually, for other people, I can muster up the good in our day, because I need to remember that it's not all that bad. No matter how hard it is, we are blessed.