Sleeping...again

Sadie turned 1 on a Wednesday, and the following Sunday we moved her crib back to her own room. It was a big step for us, but I felt like it was now or never. My body was tired of not being able to move all night, I would wake up stiff and grumpy. We were constantly on alert of making too much noise or too much movement. It was time to be done.

We'd been working on getting her to fall asleep in bed, and she'd been doing a pretty good job of it, so I bit the bullet and just did it.

The crib has been up against our bed for the past 8 months with one side removed. So, I just repeated the set up with the twin bed that is already in Sadie's room. I mentally prepared myself to sleep in there for months, Brian was excited because that meant he could actually have the whole bed to himself. But by Wednesday that week, Sadie was doing so well on her own that I actually went to bed with Brian.

I layed in bed that night unable to go to sleep. It was a weird feeling to have Sadie in another room...on the other side of the house. Of course I had the baby monitor next to my head, and I listened as hard as I could for at any sign of awakeness I was ready to rush in there and rescue my baby. I kept thinking that the last time we slept in a room without Sadie was the night we decided to pull her plug and say goodbye. We held each other and cried for a long time that night. That was the last night we spent at home without her. That night was over a year ago.

Sadie slept all night that night. 12 hours. When I woke up that morning I went to check and make sure she was still alive. I was worried. But I slept better than I had in a year.

Since then she's been doing pretty well. She goes to sleep in her bed, with lots of help, but in her bed (baby steps). And she stays asleep until 4 or 5 in the morning. I've learned that she's probably just cold, it's been in the 20s at night here, possibly the teens even. So, I go in there at the wee hours of the morning, and I pull her into the twin bed with me, cover her with blankets, hold the paci in her mouth until she's back asleep, and then I go back to bed for the last 30 or so minutes of my night.

The nicest thing has been having mornings to myself. I love the morning, and I love it even more when it's uninterrupted. Nobody talking to me, no baby needing me. Just me getting a lot of work done.

This has been a huge milestone not only in Sadie's life, but in ours as parents. I'm really proud of our entire household in how far we've come with this sleep thing. Still, I realize there will always be one more thing...if only she'd - what? Nap in her bed? Eat food without complaining? Sit unassisted? Go to sleep without help? We've come a long ways, but I realize that no matter how far we've come, there will always be a long ways to go.