Friday, January 20, 2012

Sadie's (Craptastic) Birthday

Birthdays are supposed to be fun and celebratory, right? But when you're 2, and you're brain damaged, and you aren't feeling well...then, I guess it's okay to have a bad birthday.

For the last 2+ weeks, Sadie has been having trouble sleeping. So much so that I feel like I'm walking around a zombie again like I have a newborn. She's 2. I shouldn't feel this way. But nonetheless, sleep ebbs and flows around here, and we're in an ebbing time. And it sucks.

Then, last weekend, Sadie started getting stuffy. She had a couple of nights where I just felt bad for her. She couldn't sleep because she couldn't breathe. So she started sleeping upright in her chair...which is somewhat easier because then at least we can rock her. We've been at a loss lately for comforting techniques when Sadie won't sleep, especially without the pacifier. But she still loves to rock!

Thursday morning (her birthday), Sadie woke up with a full-blown fever. Her hands and feet her freezing, but her face was hot hot hot and her cheeks were all pink. It was our first cold (we just had our first flu about a month ago...I don't know how some of you deal with sick kids all the time, this is HORRIBLE!).

And luckily Grammy's here visiting, because Thursdays are the only day of the week where I work a full 8 hours. And our respite provider quit Wednesday night, and Brian left for California at 6:00 that morning. And I was left all day with a feverish, sick, screamy 2 year old. And it was her birthday.

We let her go as long as she/we could stand it, and then around 1:00 we pumped her full of tylenol and benadryl and she finally took a nap. But that didn't make her feel better or stop the screaming.

6 hours later we started getting ready for bed. I gave her more medicine, thinking she was so tired from being sick all day and screaming about it, that she'd go right to sleep. I was in her room rocking her from 7:30-10:45. My entire evening gone.

And it didn't stop there, she was awake again at 3:30 and I spent another 2 hours in her room trying to get her back to sleep. She obviously still wasn't feeling well and was so tired (as was I), but was thrashing in her bed like she just hurt.

And then we had to wake up early to get to the doctor by 9:00am the next morning.

I guess I'm thankful that she won't remember it as a horrible birthday, she probably won't even remember it as a time that she was sick. But she's 2 now and that's really all that matters. And I guess I'm thankful for such a craptastic day, because I didn't have any time at all to focus on her birth 2 years ago and was too tired to get all emotional about it.

Really, it's hard to believe she's 2. It's amazing to see where we've been and how far we've come. And even though the future is scary to think about, we've got a lot of exciting and good things ahead of us, and I'm eager to see where we'll be when she's 3.

Hopefully NOT sick.

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