Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Hopes and Dreams

So, I know everyone is DYING to hear about my race last Sunday (vain, right?), but I'm going to make you wait a little longer, because this is on my heart right now. I have a friend named Lexi (she likes to go by Lex now, but I refuse to call her this, she will always be Lexi to me) and she has been going through some rough times. But she is strong. What is interesting is how her facebook comments, although mostly ambiguous, perfectly reflect her mood. You could say she wears her heart on her sleeve, er, facebook page.

Anyway, this post is not about Lexi, I just bring her up because she wrote on her facebook page today that she has unrealistic hopes and dreams. I will save you my speculation about what that might mean, and directly apply it to my life.

Reading this made me think about my hopes and dreams for Sadie. Tonight we were in the tub and I was asking Sadie what she wants to be when she grows up. A scientist? A teacher? A musician? Because really, in my heart, I believe she can be ANY of these things. Is this unrealistic to hope for? Maybe.

But maybe not.

I think about this almost everyday all day long. Will she do great things from a wheelchair? Or will she dance with her daddy at her wedding? Will she learn to play the piano? Or will her hands continue to be restricted so that she becomes a singer instead? Will she show the world that a diagnosis doesn't mean a damn thing?

Maybe. Maybe not.

The important part is that I have these hopes and dreams, no matter how unrealistic they may be. Because they keep me alive. They keep me from pulling my hair out. The keep me from admitting myself to the loony bin. They keep me from sinking into a deep, dark depression.

I do know this for sure. Whatever Sadie turns out to be 1. She will be beautiful, and 2. We will love her.

1 comment:

  1. Nothing is unrealistic. She is with you and you were supposed to say goodbye when she was a few days old. :)