On this day in history...

One year ago this morning was the first time I was allowed to hold my brand new baby girl. She was 4 days old and had just completed 72 hours of brain cooling. She had a breathing tube in her mouth, an EEG wrapped around her head, and all sorts of wires and cords attached to her body.

I know that she knew it was me that had her, and I'd like to think that knowing that her mama was there loving her made her fight to hang on. She was so little and so helpless and I loved her so much more than I ever imagined. That day I felt more sadness and more excitement than I ever had in my life

Little did I know that the next 24 hours would be the hardest day of my life.