Monday, January 24, 2011

so hard to say goodbye...

I know it's good to focus on all the good things in life, but I think it's also important to remember the hard times so you can see how far you've actually come. Today marks the one year anniversary of the day Brian and I made the hardest decision we've ever made. It was the lowest point in my life.

Last night as I was laying in bed, I thought about how a year ago this night we were making a decision to unplug Sadie and let her die. What we didn't expect when we got to the hospital the next day was that we 'd have to make that decision so soon.

One year ago today we prepared ourselves to say goodbye to our brand new tiny baby. We unplugged her breathing tube and waited for her to stop breathing, but she never did. So, we passed her around and all our friends and family, the ones we love the most were there and got to hold her for what we thought would be the only time.

We are so lucky to have so many good friends. And we are so lucky that we still have our little girl. And today she still breathes just fine on her own!


  1. You are so strong, Christie. I can't imagine what you've had to go through. I feel blessed for you and by you. Your words and insight remind me that being a parent could always be harder than it is or seems. Your daughter is beautiful and I am so happy to be hearing happy news.

  2. Hi,

    I have just discovered your blog via Stacie and May's blog. I have a 6 year old son (about to start school!) who also suffered HIE due to oxygen deprivation at birth. I have just had a quick read through your story so far.

    What an amazing story. This post, and that photo above especially, bought tears to my eyes. The looks on your faces, the devastation of thinking you will have to say goodbye to your little baby .... so real to me too.

    But look at her now!! What an amazing little girl - so gorgeous and so strong.

    I hope it's OK if I add you to my blog roll and follow her journey, which I am sure will be wonderful!!